she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
