yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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