if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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