Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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