that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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