I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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