If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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