margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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