i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
