Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
