True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
