3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
nutella sex= disaster
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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