I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
