Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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