haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
