I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
