just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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