I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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