Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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