Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
