Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
