You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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