If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
