A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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