they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
