there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
