just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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