Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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