so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
