My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
