is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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