Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
