Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
