I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
