My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
