That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
