You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
