When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
