had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
