they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
