Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
