She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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