Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
