mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
