and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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