wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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