Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
