I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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