Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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