Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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